Solutions for Eating Disorders

Do you suspect your daughter/son has an eating disorder?Are you worried about saying or doing the wrong thing? Are you uncertain about how to approach the subject of food and weight? Do you feel confused, overwhelmed, and unsure of how to help?

Eating Disorders are very serious and can be life-threatening. Seeking professional help is the first step.

• Have your daughter/son examined by a medical doctor experienced with eating disorders and/or tell the doctor you suspect your child has an eating disorder. Laboratory testing should be part of the exam. Follow the doctor's advice.
  
• Schedule an appointment with a therapist and a dietitian who specialize in the treatment of eating disorders.
  
• Tell your daughter/son that you are concerned about them and mention specific things you are concerned about such as "I found your lunch in the trash, I heard you throwing up last night, I found diet pills in your room".
• Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements to reduce blame and arguments. For example, "I feel scared and worried when you won't eat dinner with us" is more effective than, "You make me upset and ruin our dinner when you won't eat with us".
• Avoid conversations about food, weight, and appearance. Instead, ask your daughter/son how she/he is feeling or if something is bothering her/him. Comments about food choices, portion sizes, diets, weight, and appearance in regards to your child, yourself, and others can be triggering and upsetting. Comments like "You look healthy, You look too skinny, You shouldn't eat fried foods, You shouldn't wear those pants" can be equally damaging.
  
• Focus on the positive and unique qualities your son/daughter has such as intelligence, artistic talent, compassion, and leadership skills. Value your daughter/son for these qualities instead of for their physical appearance.

It's not about the food!

Most parents tend to focus on the food and external behaviors such as restricting, skipping meals, food rituals, bingeing, and/or purging. Emphasizing or trying to change these external behaviors usually leads to power struggles and arguments. The external eating disorders behaviors serve as a "red flag" or a means to communicate that something serious and painful is happening internally. People who have eating disorders usually have significant difficulty verbalizing their feelings and needs so their eating disorder behaviors unconsciously become a way for them to show that they need help. Being loving and creating the space for your son or daughter to express the feelings and needs underlying the external behaviors will show that you understand and want to help. Participating in family therapy is the most effective way to learn what type of support and communication style is most helpful to your son or daughter. Parent groups also provide support and understanding from others who are in the same difficult place.

Contact Thia to schedule an appointment for your son/daughter.